Library Card

Frankfort, Indiana boasts some older buildings in the “Courthouse Square” area. Many of the buildings are from the 1920’s or so, and some have been restored to keep that look. One such building located a couple blocks to the west of the courthouse, was the public library. This was a huge building on almost a complete block of land, and had lush green lawns with trees and benches scattered throughout. My 9th birthday was my first trip into the mysterious depths of this landmark. My Dad had given me an Adult library card, meaning complete access to everything available. For a 9 year old, it’s a ticket to the exotic world of adult literature.

My early visits consisted of shyly going up the huge curving stairway to the second floor, and veer right to the Juvenile book area. This was the best place for me to start, and I read plenty just sitting there in beanbags, or stretched out on the couch. Very rarely did anyone ever venture into my world in this section. Maybe once in a great while another youth (who surely did not have the Adult card) would come in and select a couple books then leave. The librarians would stop by once an hour to be sure I was fine, and if I needed any help. By four o’clock, I was usually ready to head home, and would take one or two books to check out for the next couple of days. Then I would be back, wondering about the Adult section.

I never was sure what the librarians would say if I were to just go straight to the adult areas. I imagined embarrassment if I were to be carded, or even rejected, and the card be taken away. Or worse, they compile a list of adult books I perused or checked-out and presented it to my Dad so he would be aware of the material I was reading. Would they monitor what I even looked up in the card catalog? What if they caught me with something “Mature” that kids shouldn’t be looking at? Would I be banned from the library? What would my Dad say? These worries clouded my mind every time I thought about using that access.

Finally the day came when I had no choice but to venture into the world of Adult Literature. I strolled into the library, nonchalantly was the best I could describe my steps. I placed the few books I had last checked out into the return bin, and took a quick glance around. I only saw the one librarian (there were usually two working at a time, and sometimes a third that was part-time) and she seemed busy checking in returns, or preparing to shelve books. Either way her attention seemed diverted. I walked on past her desk and headed immediately to the Fiction section. Paperbacks were there in front, where I could be seen from the desk, so I took my time appearing to browse through the selections, keeping a wary eye out for the librarian.

She glanced up in my direction. I froze. She got up and started walking over in my direction. What was I to do? I furtively looked for somewhere to run, but the only out I had was deeper into the library. I heard her steps across the tiled floor grow louder, then stop behind me. Here was the moment I had been dreading since I planned this venture.
“Is there anything I can help you find?” She asked me.

“No. I am just looking.” I replied, my voice cracking out of the dry throat.

“You usually read books on science fiction and fantasy in the juvenile section, don’t you?” Again with a question, and she remembered I regularly was upstairs. Was this a preparatory question prior to checking my library card?

“Yeah. But I have read most of what interests me there, so I came down here to find some more.” Geez! I sound like an idiot.

“Come over to this section,” she says as she turns and walks over a few rows of books. “This is the adult sci-fi area. These two shelving units listed alphabetically by author, and around on the other side you’ll find the paperbacks. Does that help?” A smile appears on her face as she folds her hands. I looked at her, and I swear I felt like I was being tested. Did I know the proper response to her encoded request for a pass phrase? Could it truly be this difficult?

“Yeah. I hadn’t gotten that far yet.” No shit, Sherlock. I think she knew how far you had gotten. You only have been in here five minutes. I stand there, waiting anxiously for he next step in this crazy dance.

“If you need any more help, you can ask me anytime.” Another smile. Then she turned and headed past me back to her desk. I followed her with my eyes, until I saw her sit down and once again started on whatever she had been doing. Wow! That was it!?! The Adult world was now mine to explore! Greedily I stepped over to the books and started browsing.

After several hours of browsing, and re-browsing, I had selected a few books. There are no comfy looking sitting arrangements in here though, just wooden tables and chairs. I head towards the stairway, when the other librarian appears heading towards me on the stairs.

“Finding ever thing okay?” What is up with the smiles?

“Yeah. I am just going upstairs for comfortable seating to read for awhile.” Quick, dodge the second attack!

“Okay. See you when you are ready to check-out.” She moves on past, and I run up the remaining steps.

Later that afternoon, I steadily walked to the check out counter and the librarian came over to stamp the cards and register my name. I casually handed over my card, the regular white one (no yellow for “kids only” books). She quickly checked out my selections, never once making a list of titles, or giving me any looks. I tossed them into the duffel bag and went out the door as fast as I could. I did it! Whoo! Adult books were now available to me!

Every trip I made back always had me downstairs in the adult areas. Be it Fiction, or sci-fi, westerns or whatever. The only time I got questioned was when I started reading Mack Bolan books, and that was eased over with a simple “Not as brutal as some of the westerns I have read”.
After a few years, I moved out of state, and gotten a library card elsewhere. Even when I took my daughter, years ago, to get her first card, they never once asked if she should have that access. But I remember this story every time I walk into a library, and always do a look around for a librarian, as she may prevent me from the Adult area.